Remembering & Rejoicing

Tam, your life was lived and poured out with the sincerest and deepest measure of grace, hope, and courage.

What a beautiful day remembering and celebrating a beautiful friend.

Tam was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago, and when I received the news of her relocation to heaven just over a week ago, I burst into sobs. Deep, ugly crying, as the reality of this finality hit home. The first memories of our friendship that flooded my mind were when we were both single and were part of the same home group at church. Tam lived in Amanzimtoti at the time and worked in Durban. Most Tuesdays, she would head to my home in Glenwood after work, we would have dinner with my family and then head off to homegroup together. She would then spend the night at my home, head to work in the morning, and back to her home after that. These Tuesdays were special, hours of conversations enjoyed, and dreams shared.

The other initial memory was also before we were married, but she was dating her future husband. Her dad owned a holiday home on the North Coast, and we would occasionally be able to make it our own for the weekend. I would often be invited to join her and Gary, and Tam and I would spread ourselves out in the main bedroom with a gorgeous, must have been King size bed, en suite bathroom and lots of space! Gary made use of the spare room, which was a tiny single bed room down the passage. After they got married and we went away, I got to use the small spare bedroom as they could now enjoy the main bedroom together. I smile every time I think of this!

Tam was and is an inspiration. The brave and courageous attitude she chose to fight this battle. The positivity, hope, gratitude, and faith she expressed and lived as she endured chemo and treatments, surgeries and procedures, appointments with good results, and ones with bad news. The ups and the downs, is truly astounding! She grabbed life and time with both hands and decided it was worth it to get up one more time and show up!

Celebrating her with friends and family today has encouraged me again that no matter what, it’s worth it to get up and show up! It’s worth the time and the effort and the energy to be me and to be present and to make it matter. It’s worth it to look for the good, to believe in miracles, and to never give up! It’s worth it to face colossal challenges with courage and also with dignity. It’s worth it to try again. It’s worth it.

Tam loved the sea, and as I was reflecting on her and about her, I was reminded that the sea is constant. It is always there. It is steadfast. And that’s what God is. Constant. Always there. Steadfast. When the storms of life come crashing on us, He is there. When the waves of circumstances overwhelm us, He is steadfast. When we can’t see through the wind and the rain, He is constant and unshaken.

Tam finally got her miracle. Not the one we thought and she had hoped for, but she is healed, whole, restored, and flying free.

Thank you, Tam, for who you are and for the special place you’ll always have in my heart!