It’s Christmas night as I write this and I am sitting on one couch with my husband on the couch opposite me, taking deep breaths of relaxation as another BUSY Christmas Day is done. I don’t know what your Christmas days look like – perhaps they are full, loud and big with lots of family and lots of people and lots of food. Perhaps they are a bit smaller, calmer and more intimate with close family or close friends. Perhaps they are lonely, empty, silent and the pain and heartache is overwhelming. Perhaps they are simple, perhaps they are complicated. Perhaps they are happy, perhaps they are uncomfortable. Perhaps they go as you planned and perhaps you gotto do what you gotto do to keep people happy. Perhaps this year went better than you had hoped or expected and perhaps it did not. However and whatever “went down” this Christmas, it is finished! Christmas 2021 take a bow!
Christmas for me as I was growing up was big and fun and loud and full. We would spend Christmas Eve with my extended family enjoying amazing food, fun games and lots of laughter. Sometimes my brother and I would spend the night at my aunts house with my cousins even- leaving cookies and milk for Santa and carrots for the reindeer. Then the entire extended family would gather after church on Christmas day to feast together. My closest cousins are quite a bit older than me, so when they got married and left home, it left my brother and I as the only “young ones” for a season. We grew into young adults and eventually got married and started families of our own. I married a man with a German heritage (a pure South African though) and the German tradition is to celebrate on Christmas Eve. My tradition was always to celebrate on Christmas Day. The year of my heart surgery – 2010 – saw a huge shift in our family Christmas traditions. I was not strong enough or up to a large Christmas celebration that year and so we split our family get togethers. We enjoyed a small, quiet Christmas Eve dinner with my mom in law and a just as quiet, small Christmas Day lunch with my parents. For a couple years this became the norm and we did not spend Christmas with my extended family at all. Then a couple years ago, we decided to go big and loud again and get all the extended family together for Christmas. It ended up being a life changing day for me as my one cousin and I bonded and became more than family – we became friends! Since then, we have tried to create our own Christmas traditions. We have tried different ideas and suggested different things to different family members – some have been welcomed and some very strongly dis-approved of. One thing we have desired and tried is to have all our daughters grandparents together to celebrate, but this has still not come to pass. It has felt like a struggle and often has meant us doing things to please those around us. And we all know how pleasing others leaves us – often drained, often disappointed, often discouraged.
This year was no different. As my husband and I started opening the discussion on Christmas celebrations, the tension and desires and disappointments reared their heads. I became a bit dogmatic and almost mean at one point as I was determined for my desires to be fulfilled “for once”. And then a real gem in my life said to me, “just twist things up and do what you can with what you’re thrown with. Change your perspective and make it work for you.” I pondered our conversation for a long time and then it clicked! I was going to make this work.
I went through to my husband a couple days later and laid out the plan. We made the arrangements with family members and put all the details in place. And you know what, today has been a JOY-filled, FUN- filled, PEACE- filled day.
So our main tradition is that we celebrate BIG on Christmas Eve. Just the three of us! It is honestly the highlight of Christmas for us and we LOVE it! This year looked like this: we spent the early evening on the 24th creating and building a chocolate house. Think gingerbread house, made ENTIRELY of chocolate. Then we cooked homemade chicken pie – my daughters favourite – and veggies, set the table, lit the real candles on our real tree, and sat down to enjoy dinner together. After dinner we had a beautiful moment celebrating, discussing and remembering JESUS, the reason for the season. Opening presents followed and we enjoyed squeals of appreciation from our daughter as she unwrapped her surprises. Edible chocolate house and ice cream for dessert on the couch with a movie ended off the evening and we all went to bed really late with really full and happy hearts.
We woke to the dawn of Christmas Day and loved a brand new tradition of smoothies and stockings. Olav made us yummy healthy amazing smoothies and we sipped these as we opened up stockings to find some small treats a-waiting. We then packed and got ready to head off to my mom-in-laws home which is a 45 minute drive from us. We enjoyed conversation and time together, a delicious meal and YUMMY ice cream (yes we had more) for lunch and after “hanging out” together we headed home to get ready for my dad and mom to arrive to share dinner with us. We chose to braai some amazing meat on the fire and enjoyed another scrumptious meal together, finished off with Malva pudding, custard and more ice cream (yes, have I mentioned I LOVE ice cream?) We played 30 seconds which created loads of laughter and a relaxed time together.
And now I’m pooped! I am exhausted from driving all over, packing and unpacking the car, preparing and cooking meals and setting and taking down the table, washing dishes, unpacking and packing the dishwasher, clearing up and making tea and yet my heart is full, my heart is happy, my heart is at peace. It’s not the day I had initially dreamed of, but I made it a dream of a day and I’m so glad I chose to twist things up, change my perspective and create memories which will last me a lifetime!
hope of heart 