40 is patient and kind

A decade ago, 17 July 2010, my husband left the 20’s behind and turned 30. Growing up, he was not often celebrated with a party or fuss and never had a 21st, as so many of us have enjoyed. And taken for granted. During the past few weeks in the build up to his birthday this year, our daughter and him have had numerous conversations about birthdays and parties. She’s shared her memories of the past 9 years and dreams for her 10th birthday this year. Double digits is a big one! And he has shared his reality.

10 years ago, the year he started his journey in the 30’s, I wanted to celebrate him significantly. The fabulous son, friend, man and husband that he is. I fell pregnant in February and by the time July came around I was already starting to feel the effects of the infective endocarditis (heart disease) I was developing or had already developed, we will never know. You see, I am a party girl. I love planning, organizing and co-ordinating an opportunity to celebrate those around me, especially those I love and treasure. And then I got sick. And was so unwell that I couldn’t plan anything to celebrate my husband, my best friend, as he turned 30. I will never forget the tea party we had with my dad and mom and his mom and the bought milk tart in its silver foil pie dish on our un-decorated table. Simple. Nothing fancy. Special, yes. But not what I would have liked.

This year was similar. But in a different kind of way. Yesterday my most wonderful husband turned 40! The big four-oh! I remember sitting over some coffee (for him) and tea (for me) in February and chatting about what we could do this year to celebrate. Who could we invite to share this milestone with, where could we get together, what could we do. The options and opportunities were endless and I was getting so excited! And then March came around and so did Covid-19. And slowly, over the past 4 months our (my) plans dwindled and the reality set in. We would not be able to celebrate this birthday the way we (I) would really want to.

Then the new reality of a new opportunity opened up and I creatively started making a way for it to be amazing and memorable.

And yesterday, the 17 July 2020, the day Olav stepped into the 40’s will be a day that I will never forget.

He had taken the week off work and us girls were on school holidays so we spent the entire day together. We woke him up with 40 balloons, breakfast and coffee, cake and gifts. We were not able to gather together with friends and family to enjoy chocolate cake, and so I asked friends and family to send in a video or written message for Olav and we put those together as a video montage. It was the most beautiful surprise for him and was so refreshing to see so many special faces again. We put balloons up outside and enjoyed sausage rolls, snacks and brownies for lunch together. We played party games and laughed till our tummies hurt. A few friends and family drove by to drop off gifts and it was soul food to see and chat to them, socially distant of course, and donned with the latest masks! We ended the day around a cozy fire outside with a delicious potjie for dinner. Just the three of us. And then headed inside for pudding, more yummy cake and hot drinks under soft blankets on the couch! It was unforgettable, memorable, simple and special.

1 Corinthians 13 says “Love is patient, love is kind.” Olav has taught me that over this decade and shown me what it means to be patient and kind. He has never asked for a party and never wanted a fuss, yet has encouraged me to use my gifts and passion to bless others with occasions to celebrate. He is patient. He has never moaned or demanded or shown disappointment about the circumstance we found ourselves in 10 years ago or with the pandemic this year. He has only been grateful, appreciative and kind.

So even though his 30th and his 40th have not gone the way I would have planned them, I am so much richer and thankful for them and for celebrating the gift that Olav is to me. To us. And to the world. And I wouldn’t have it any other way!

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y M Y L O V E